Half Marathons: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly Photos

Why, hello there reader who is not me checking in on my blog.

About a week ago (October 2, 2010--I have no concept of time lately), I completed my sixth half marathon! A half marathon is 13.1 miles. I sometimes like to say that I've also done three full marathons since you know two halves make a whole.

My first half was the 2009 Philadelphia Distance Run. I had fallen in love with running earlier in the spring while training for the Philadelphia Broad Street 10 Mile Run and figured, "Hey, what's another 3 more?" I remember hearing those words come out of my mouth before I had realized I even thought them. (This is some kind of genetic disorder thing I have. My mouth literally goes faster than my brain.) I ran a lot that summer but never with a true training plan. I followed the principle of increasing my long runs on the weekends and doing about 20 miles during the week.
I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself in to. I made every mistake there was to make. I didn't follow a plan. I ran in old shoes. I didn't hydrate. I didn't taper. I let my personal trainer put me through a killer leg strength workout three days before the race and was in so much pain. I ate nothing the day before. I bought new stuff to wear during the race. I drank too much gatorade. I took Gus for the first time in race and didn't even do that right! I stressed about it for days.


The only thing I did right for this race was have my parents come and find
me at mile 8. I run the same course in Philly a lot (Kelly and West River
Drive) and still see my dad and mom clear as day standing at Montergomery
Ave.

I finished my first half in 2:21. I was so proud! And sore! And completely addicted to half marathons.

As most runners do, I immediately signed up for another half marathon. This is a side effect of what is called the runner's high. It's commonly experienced after races or anything involving bibs, medals and portapotties. I've since rethought this phenomenon which so many think is rooted in pride and endorphines. I think it's actually just our stomachs and brains being so incredibly happy that for at least two days, there is non stop and nonoveranalyzed eating.

So, to The Spirit of Pittsburgh Half Marathon I went. This time, I encouraged/motivated/challenged/drug through hell my best friend Bethany to do it with me! This was a wonderful racing experience since there was a road trip, family, friends, Phillies, and a running all in one weekend. I was a bit smarter this time and much more relaxed. After a beautiful, but hilly, run through the city of Pittsburgh, I finished this race is 2:18. I shaved 3 minutes off my last! This is my favorite running photo ever.

In the spring of 2010, I added two more half marathons to my collection, bringing my full marthon count to two. I learned the value of eating well before an event and not mixing dating with running at the Rutger's Unite Half Marathon in New Jersey. I have a race recap of that already done. Thanks to a speedy demon friend and blissfully chilly temperatures, I earned a personal PR of 2:09--which is almost 10 minutes better than Pittsburgh and 15 better than Philly! This is where I decided to rename PR Progress Report.

Number 5 came in an poorly organized, mess of a race known as the Oddyssey Half Marathon in Philadelphia. We learned of this 'event' at the expo for the 2010 Broad Street Run. They coat-tailed themselves onto the BSR, claiming that you can keep your training going from BSR for four weeks and conquer a half. BSR is the first week of May and Oddyssey was the last. I really have nothing good to say about this event.The majority of the registration money was spent on high tech photography, tracking equiptment and stupid obstacles but not on porta potties or course support. There was a huge HUGE hill at the end that killed everyone and few spectators.

I finished this "race" in 2:12 and to this day KNOW my time would have been in the 2:05 range were we not ambushed with that incline. I had stuck with the BSR and Rutgers training plans (long runs on weekends, etc) and really ran well. I was honestly so stressed out at that point with a new job, graduate school and my social life that I had almost forgot about it completely. I actually went on a day date immediately following this race. I mean, I cleaned up as well as I could in a public bathroom on a warm May day. It's ok, he's a runner too so I actually got brownie points for being hardcore........and a little stinky.

After a glorious six weeks off of official training over the summer, it was time to gear up, hunker down, and get back into half marathon mode. I was confident that with my friend, speedwork, and the always decreasing times in the five other races, that I could achieve a sub 2hour finish time. I mean, at this point, I'm hardcore, right? I started at 2:21 and had a 2:09 PR. I'm a little runny know-it-all. A sub 2 hour race means running at AT least a 9:30 pace. For 13.1 miles. That would mean fast for a while with no walk breaks. Sub 2 in runners vernacular means 'legitimate runner who runs 13 miles in less than two hours, even if it's 1:59:45.

Psssssshhh.....I got this. This summer, I followed the Runner's World training plan for a sub 2 halfsie to the tee. I mean, there wasn't an easy run, speedwork or long distrance run I skipped. I.did.them.all. I got up early. I stayed at the gym late. I cross trained. I ate well (though never lost a pound). It was HOT this summer too, by the way. I did fartleks, mile repeats, tempo runs, hills. I had the plan on my fridge and entered into my Googely calendar.

My vision: A year and five half marathons later, I would return to the Philadelphia Distance Run and I would conquer it. And I would conquer it in sub 2 time. It would be glorious and the heavens will smile upon me and life will forever be grand. Every person in the world (or Philly) who has every hurt me would for some reason all find themselves on the Art Museum Steps as I breezed over the finish line. There could be confetti.

My reality: A year and five half marathons later, I ran the worst race of my life. Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you worked or how much you've already accomplished, or what you want-- some days, it's just not your day. The Rock-n-Roll Philadelphia Half Marathon (same event, different name) was not my day. I was miserable the entire weekend because I had put so much stress on myself to get that sub 2. When I realized at mile 9 that it wasn't going to happen, I just fell apart. I finished because I had some wonderful support, but it wasn't near 2:00. My chip time reports 2:16 and I'm going to be honest and accept that. No more but my "garmin says 2:10 because I stopped to pee." I wasn't in the portapotty that long. I walked and I cheated by stopping my garmin. It was 2:16. Still 5 minutes better than last year!

But after 5 half marys?

I didn't feel the runner's high. I felt the lowest I've felt since I started running. And I was feeling pretty darn low before that. But I didn't have too much time to wallow in my running grief because two weeks later, I had half marathon #6 to take on.

Enter, The Diva's Half Marathon in Long Island. My friend Bonnie, who ran Rutgers #3 with me, asked me do this with her in the summer and the event sounded so cool. I couldn't resist. Diva's was one of the few, though increasing, female distance races in the country. The event promoed boas, tierras, firemen, and a fast course. I couldn't resist!

I was still licking my wounds from Philly as I headed out for my last long training run in between the two. I decided to JUST HAVE FUN at Divas, to enjoy the energy of running with 10,000 other women and get back to my running roots. I wasn't going to attempt a PR. I had no time in mind. I just wanted to run and get a t-shirt. The race was well organized with great swag. Bonnie and I had such a great time traveling to and around the strange world of Long Island, that the run was the last thing on my mind. I had no plan. I didn't even look at the course map.
We actually...gasp...had two beers and a shot the night before. This is unheard of in runnery world. As we lined up in a sea of hot pink and happiness that race morning, I just smiled and let it all go. I let the pressure and the pain of the previous half go. (Wow--that sounds like a fart joke.)

I.ran.the.best.race.ever. I will also write another post recap of this experience. I don't know whose legs I borrowed from miles 1 through 10, but thank you. I finished at 2:10. WITH A HUGE SMILE. Not a personal record but a personal best. I found that runner's high again but have resisted the urge to sign up for any other races! Divas will always have a special place in my heart because it was where I learned to let go and just..... run.

Good races aren't determined by your finishing times or your training plans. A good half marathon, or any distance, is determined by your attitude and heart. Bad races happen to good runners.

Ugly race photos, however, happen to everyone!!!! :-)

I suddenly understand where Tom was coming from

I'm not afraid of spiders or bugs. I've made friends and roommates based solely on my ability to kill a creepy crawling thing using the closest object and without panic. Snakes don't really bother me either. Me'h. It's just nature. I grew up in the country.

For some reason, however, I'm really not cool with the whole rodent genre. Specifically mice and rats. I don't care about the little field mouse. I like to think it's scampering off to some try out for an animated movie. Rats. Ugh. The government can launch an awareness campaign that "Rats aren't bad" complete with commercials and funny movie and bus signs and I'd still be convinced their just little bundles of evil scurrying about. Dirty, rotten, disgusting, yuck.

On Monday morning, I tossed a bruised up banana into my trash can. Of course, the trash was towards the top and I did make a mental note to take out the trash once it stopped raining. I came home later that day and opened up the cabinet to throw out a paper towel or something. Imagine my horror to find a hole eaten out of the discarded banana. There were little teeth marks! It looked like a person with really stupid teeth took a bite out it! EWWWWW! And because they're just awful awful things, around the trash can was a trail of droppings. Rats are like Pandas but instead of Eats, Shoots and Leaves-ing- they Eat, Crap and Infest. (And major brownie points to anyone who gets the Panda and Eats Shoots and Leaves reference. Sneaky grammar book shout out!)

I did what any self respecting28 year-old women faced with something creepy and gross would do. I called my mom. Moooom! There is a mouse in my apartment! That night, I avoided doing the dishes or making coffee or any task that would take me near the kitchen.

I bought D-Con to poison the sucker. Yes. I'm setting animal traps and being very un-pc and so very anti-PETA. Rats multiply by the hundreds. There is no shortage of them. Sorry, I'm not sorry. "Ha!" I thought. "I have outsmarted the rat." I shall now avoid cooking for lack of skill, knowledge or ambition instead of fear of Ebola-infested rodent hiding in my trash can. I cleaned up the rat poop and gagged. I've cleaned toilets at a restaurant that served colon-cleansing like pasta sauce and not batted an eye. Rat poop, puke. Either way, it'll eat the D-Con, and then go drown and I shall prevail.

It's back though. I checked the cabinet today and there they were. Little rat feces just taunting me. In the words of my favorite television character ever, "Son of a bitch!"

I quickly made my nightly smoothie and retreated to my living room.

And here I sit. On my couch, battling a fear of going back to the room where rats have tread. I'm hungry for a snack but don't want to go into the kitchen. I'm afraid of some rodent that may or may not have at some point today ran through my apartment! I have a sink full of two-day old dirty dishes that I have no idea how they're going to get done until I know it's gone.

I understand where Tom in Tom and Jerry was coming from. I'm about to place an order with Acme.

Put Out the Cigarette Before You Judge Me.

I run. A lot. I do. It's not all I do, it just shows up in my social media life because one is a lot less likely to get fired or worse for having too many photos of crossing finishing lines posted than, say, one too many photos of drinking or crazy dancing. I have plenty of political opinions but I just chose to express them in less annoying and more effective ways than hitting a "press like if you ...agree with this hyperbolic statement about an extreme group...." I too have a schedule that goes like work, gym, study, dinner and feel relief on Fridays and angst on Mondays but just don't say it. I do run. I like to talk about it and mostly people are interested in hearing about it.

But, it's not all I do. I've noticed at parties and other social functions now that running is all people want to talk to me about. And that's fine and I'm happy about my little passion. I'm touched by the interest and find it baffling sometimes that some have said I'm inspiration? If my FB friends acknowledge the DailyMile posts in real life conversations, it means they've noticed them. Has anyone ever been approached about a TGIF PEEPS! status? And if they're annoying, just hide me. Or defriend, whatever. I will gladly offer advice and encouragement to anyone who is lacing up their sneakers for the first time in years or ever. Let's talk about it for a few minutes and then move on. There are many other ways to relate that don't involve running. Did you know that I also love to talk about the Phillies, electronic publishing, books, figuring out the ending to Lost, gossip-- celebrity or real, career related things (did you know I'm the youngest person in my office by at least 10 years? Advice on how get a group of perimenopasual women to like me without having to bake, have a baby , or get married would be more than welcome!), current affairs, music, education and travel. I'm not too hip on the movies and tv just yet though.

Also, if you don't run or exercise, please don't judge me for doing so. I'm not crazy for waking up at 5:15am to run before work because I have class in the evenings. I don't have leprosy because I like to sweat. Let's put this into perspective. Who is more crazy: Someone who takes care of themselves in a healthy manner by finding time for exercise and makes an effort to eat well OR someone who considers pizza, cereal and beer to be a well-rounded meal and done a minute of exercise aside walking outside to smoke. Yes, but the bleeping cigarette out before you judge my living habits. Put the beer down and get your head out of your a$$ before saying I'm nuts for getting up early in the morning. Please don't tell me you don't even drive as 5 miles in the morning. It's not helping and I certainly don't think it's funny. I find it just as hard to relate to your lack of activity as you would to my level of it.

(I fail to understand how when you're in a social situation such as a party or a bar demeaning another person could possibly work in your favor. I've been on dates before where the guy was like "that's crazy! I couldn't do that without a beer first." Which is when I would mentally check out and just enjoy the free meal. I had started a rule that the more you diss my sport, the higher $$ the entree I'd order.)

Dear Linds,

Hi, it's your knees here. We understand that you love your shoes and feel that adding a few inches to your height somehow makes you feel more adult-y. The leopard print heels our friend, feet, are rocking today are gorgeous and do spice up the typically dull outfits you chose.

However, if you're going to continue attempting to be some kind of running ninja diva, we're going to have to ask that you alternate some flats or sneakers into the corporate Linds collection. Seriously. You cannot expect us to be happy about the hilly miles in your long runs and the beatings of the treadmill followed by kicking and jumping like a poorly balanced drunken ninja and then make us carry your never decreasing weight around all day teetering in 3 inch heels.

Your ankles would also appreciate a rest. They would threaten to swell and puff out like a cankle but we all know that would be pointless. We've gotten some feedback from the feet and they're just generally uphappy all around at the way you've been treating them. A pedicure could make things better. Or a pair of runninig shoes that fit. Or maybe not wearing the above mentioned 3 inch heels for 9 hours a day. Its safe to say your entire lower body is not happy about recent shoe choices.

Kthnxbi,

The two massive joints that hold your thighs to your never-going-to-fit-into-boots-calves.

Knees

The Dark Days Are Upon Us

Yes, the wonders of an autum in the Northeastern United States means cooler temps, colorful leaves, pumpkin stuff that other people love, post-season baseball, the end of humidity, coats. It also means shorter days and less sunlight. As I set out for a easy morning jog today, I realized I have to readjust my morning run mode for "FALL/WINTER". This means:

• It's going to be even HARDER to get out of bed. Set alarm for earlier. It's hard to imagine a time earlier than 4:50 am. But for a snooze-button addict, it's a harsh reality.
• More blankets + warmer bed > need to run. Math sucks.
• Layering: Add a long sleeve t-shirt or lightweight hoodie to 'running clothes for tomorrow morning' (if I actually get up)' pile on the floor. Remove sport tank tops as it's too chilly for shoulder sexiness now. Add longer shorts. Remove skirts. Add beanie hat. Remove marathon cap.
• Fewer (or less? Kylie- grammar me!) people on the trails. Everyone runs in the spring and summer. It's the pressure of bathing suits and ice cream. Moms don't have kids to get ready for school. It's lighter and cooler out. There are many advantages to running in the mornings during the summer. However, it's a lonely time in the chilly months. This means that it's okay to sing along while running but you're also more likely to be bear breakfast.
• Switch cereal with fruit to oatmeal with fruit.
• Leave coffee warmer on because the best thing in the world after a chilly run is a warm cup of coffee. It's also the worst thing in the world after a hot hot hot run.

The biggest change in seasonal running is the lack of light in the morning. It's still dark at 5:45am which is when I'm lacing up my sneaks and syncing the Garmin. Dark means:

• holycrap High Beams! Cars are equally as baffled to see me running in the dark as I am to be running in the dark. Be prepared for a retina burning shot of adrenaline as cars forget that people have eyes too and beam the bejebus out of you. This is when I retire from 'road running' and turn to the towpath.
• No more ninja running gear. Ninja running = wearing all black. I need some kind of light reflective gear to alert cars and deer of my presence.
• Animals, even cute little kitties or mischievous squirrels, are pure evil untill the sun rises. I've had full, though one-sided, conversations with a deer in broad daylight. However, seeing a deer dart ahead of you in the gray dusk of the morning is horrifying!
• Remove "Thriller" from running playlist.
• Dogs really hate morning runners. Be prepared to get barked at.

Making Up and Moving On with Running

Dear Running,

Ok. So.

The 12 mile on Saturday morning was respectful. The speedwork session tonight was really sweet. Oh, running. I can't stay mad at you.

I needed that week off. I thought about how devastated I was at what I thought was a terrible race. I can be so hard on myself that any accomplishment gets overshadowed. I took my ridiculousness out on you, sport, and that's not fair.

I'm going to redefine the terms of our relationship, Running. I'm going to stop holding you accountable for so much of my self esteem. I'm going to find more to feel good about than just you. You're great and I couldn't imagine not being a runner at this point. However, I'm going to spend more time with karate and maybe even try biking. I can't just only run.

The biggest amendment is going to be the definition of PR. PR is no longer personal record. PR is now Progress Report. I will always aim to do better in races because it's just not in my nature to not give my best at everything. However, I will always remember where I came from and who I am in terms of my times. I'm not a natural runner or athlete. This is not a gift, this is a passion.
Progress Report will measure performance by things such as pacing, walk breaks, hydration, nutrition and pride. When I aim for a PR now, I'm going to aim to have fun, do my best, and cross the finish line strong and happy. If it's at 2:01 or 2:31, it's a finish line and it's matters.

Running, I can't promise I won't get angry or frustrated again. Thank you for letting me recover and recoup for a week and come back strong today. I'm looking forward to our adventure on Sunday and hopefully will have an easy session on Wednesday or Friday.

-L










I'm such a good blogger that I forgot what the website I used and how to login.

Breaking Up or Down with Running

Running and I got into a fight this weekend.

I'm sure we'll both get over it soon enough.

If it wasn't for the five races I'm signed up for and the five friends I'd be disappointing, I would be seriously considering breaking up with running right now.

I'm going to stay at Karate's place for a few days and let my muscles recover. And think. Think about my training, what I did wrong, or right, why running and my stomach seem to battle at the worst possible moments and what exactly a PR means. To both of us. I'm going to think about the races I've done and remember my runners high. And I'm going to wonder why I'm feeling the exact opposite of that. I'm going to talk to my heart and brain to see that they think about this whole thing. They so rarely agree that I wonder if it's worth it.

I hope running does some thinking too. About how much I care. How much I've given up and how I've changed because of him. I hope he understands that there are so many factors that go into every step of every mile. And sometimes every step is a victory in and of itself. It doesn't matter if it's a running step, a walking step or a step off of the course to breathe. Running should also maybe send a text to my stomach and my lungs to see whose brilliant idea it was to gang up on me at mile 11. Seriously, running should look into that because it was just a cruel thing they did.

I'm sure we'll both get over it soon enough. If the past 18 months have proven anything, it's that we can't stay apart for too long. We have an event in two weeks in New York.