The 12 mile on Saturday morning was respectful. The speedwork session tonight was really sweet. Oh, running. I can't stay mad at you.
I needed that week off. I thought about how devastated I was at what I thought was a terrible race. I can be so hard on myself that any accomplishment gets overshadowed. I took my ridiculousness out on you, sport, and that's not fair.
I'm going to redefine the terms of our relationship, Running. I'm going to stop holding you accountable for so much of my self esteem. I'm going to find more to feel good about than just you. You're great and I couldn't imagine not being a runner at this point. However, I'm going to spend more time with karate and maybe even try biking. I can't just only run.
The biggest amendment is going to be the definition of PR. PR is no longer personal record. PR is now Progress Report. I will always aim to do better in races because it's just not in my nature to not give my best at everything. However, I will always remember where I came from and who I am in terms of my times. I'm not a natural runner or athlete. This is not a gift, this is a passion.
Progress Report will measure performance by things such as pacing, walk breaks, hydration, nutrition and pride. When I aim for a PR now, I'm going to aim to have fun, do my best, and cross the finish line strong and happy. If it's at 2:01 or 2:31, it's a finish line and it's matters.
Running, I can't promise I won't get angry or frustrated again. Thank you for letting me recover and recoup for a week and come back strong today. I'm looking forward to our adventure on Sunday and hopefully will have an easy session on Wednesday or Friday.
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