Monday, June 13, 2011

TL:DR: Life is too short to deal with people you don't like

I confess. I am not cool. I've never been cool or popular or part of the "in crowd." I used to try to be cool and to fit in and to make everyone like me. I was never successful and usually ended at the end of a string of gossip or embarrassment. Eventually, (like yesterday or so) I learned to accept my natural dork and that being me is way more fun -- and easy-- than trying to be anyone else. I have a group of very strong and unique friends who can not possibly be categorized. And there is nothing I wouldn't do for any of my friends and I would not be able to do anything without them. :-)

 As I move through this thing called life, I'm learning more and more the types of people I do like and those I (usually instantly) do not care for. I like authentic people, those who know who they are at their core and rarely stray from that. I like people with passions. I like people who like themselves, but with an acceptable amount of self-deprecation. (As this blog's namesake says, "Humility has buoyancy, and above us only sky.") I like people with loud laughs, light spirits and big hearts. I like people who refuse to be unhappy. 

I stopped trying to make people like me and I stopped worrying about liking everyone. It's perfectly ok to not like a person. There are people in this world who I simply do not care for and I try to avoid them. I've also learned that I cannot fake it. It is very hard for me to hide this. I call it being genuine, others call it bitch. It was kind of surreal to realize I had gone from doormat to bitch. But again, I'm totally fine with that. Whatever. Life is too short to deal with people you don't like.

I can usually pick up on "squiggly lines" vibes from a person relatively quickly. Call it intuition, call it judgement, or call it a low tolerance for bulls&^(.  Sometimes it's a feeling, sometimes it's an action or a string of actions, or one bizarre statement that will get a person on the "You Suck" list of my book. 
Let's follow the formula of "You Might Be a Red Neck if "

  • you are not a stripper but think that dancing on tables or bars (outside the college experience) is socially acceptable...I'm not going to like you. 
  • feel the need to tell every male in a bar that you're not so innocent, are capable of really bad things or like black guys.....I'm not going to like you. (And that has nothing to do with black guys, it's not racist. You can like whomever you want to, just don't drunkly declare it from the top of a bar while trying to take your shirt off. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE OVER 30!)
  • have ever tried to make me like you....I'm not going to like you. A very wise friend once told me that friendships are organic, not manufactured.
  • pretend to be something or someone you're not.....I'm not going to like you.
  • relive past victories or defeats over and over and over again in an attempt to either garner admiration or sympathy...I'm not going to like you.
  • make excuses for your own shortcomings....I'm not going to like you. 
I am a bit conflicted openly expressing that I don't love everyone. I volunteer with an organization that promotes self-esteem building and healthy lifestyles for young girls. The motto is, "Try your best! Have fun! Be yourself!" Clearly, that last line is my favorite. Because if you're not being true to yourself, it's much harder to have fun.  Try your best is the first part of the triangle;, if you're not being yourself--true to yourself--than even the best efforts are futile.

1 comment:

  1. Amen sista! See, this is why I love you. :)